On freaking myself out

OK so I have a few odd phobia's.

In addition to my fear of heights - the thought of which can make my palms go sweaty and my heart rate increase. I am also scared of our glasses cupboard. Although this is more a fear of one of the glasses smashing and cutting my tendons rendering my hands completely useless. I would not enjoy only having limited movement in my hands.



The strangest phobia I have recently is of shipwrecks (one answer online gave this as Maremophobia - http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120223204219AArXHRw ).  I believed this to be a very weird phobia that was pretty unique. Apparently not http://www.phobia-fear-release.com/fear-of-shipwrecks1.html http://www.phobia-fear-release.com/fear-of-shipwrecks.html http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055276928 !

It seems for most people it is a fear of man made things under the water and deep down rotting away.

For me I think it has more to do with the fact that underwater is an alien environment for humans, but on our planet. A shipwreck is a symbol of human enterprise succumbing to the power of our environment. I find that unsettling.

Or maybe its just because they look weird!

Although I do not have the fear of spiders that some people have and they are very alien looking.

How cute is that spider? This one was about 4mm large and I believe it was a spotted wolf spider http://www.uksafari.com/spottedwolf.htm . You can tell tell one of these as they are skittish - they run down their prey which is impressive.

Much cuter and more manageable than other varieties of spider!

The picture was taken by me today with my new fancy USB microscope - thanks Maria!

Anyways moving on to last night.

I hurt my right quad at football. So before bed I decided to have a bath to soak the muscle a bit. I did what most people in the bath do and read for a bit. If you are interested I am reading 'do androids dream of electric sheep?' by Philip K. Dick http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_Androids_Dream_of_Electric_Sheep%3F .

Anyways as my bath wore on I decided to put the book down and just relax for a bit before I got out. checked my watch and it was about 10.40.

I must have dozed off.

I woke up feeling thirsty at 11.30.

I felt dissociated from my body. I drained the water out the bath around me and then slowly got out. Still feeling groggy with my leg slowing my movement a bit. I started drying myself but I couldn't dry my hair properly (looking back it was because I was so tired I wasn't doing a very good job). I felt tired, thirsty and just not right.

I went into the kitchen and quickly drank 2 pints of squash although it did not fully do the job.

I dragged myself to bed but didn't feel right.

I started asking a confused and sleepy Maria if i was really there, had I got out of the bath. My hair was wet - was I still asleep in the bath? Was my dry mouth a result of being under the water? Was I so tired because I was drowning? I started to panic, my breath became harder and more ragged. I was convinced that this was a dream and I was submerged in the bath!

In short I freaked out.

I got out of bed.

Checked the bath.

Pinched, bit and slapped myself.

Definitely awake! Certainly not in the bath. Just a bit too hot, too thirsty and too tired!

I took my time and properly dried my hair.

Settled back into bed, Maria expressed concern, told me I was really there and gave me a hug.

It still took me a long time to sleep.

I was never so grateful to wake up as I was this morning.

The Sun is shining, my USB microscope arrived and we won 5 quid on a scratchcard.

Time to settle down eat some fruit and chill out for a bit.

All is good!